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Harness Your Inner Hulk

28 October 2025

Allison read Marvel Hulk Not Smash: Practice Mindfulness the Mighty Marvel Way written by Amy Ratcliffe with illustrations by Jason Loo. This fun compilation of easy-to-practice mindfulness tools is “for anyone who has ever unleashed their inner Hulk and regretted it.”

Tags: allison read, balance, gratitude, happiness, mental health, mindfulness, optimism, self-compassion, self-talk

I’ve been practicing and teaching different mindfulness tools since long before the concept was so ubiquitous. I especially like the way the American Psychological Association explains mindfulness as, “Awareness of one’s internal states and surroundings… to help people avoid destructive or automatic habits and responses by learning to observe their thoughts, emotions, and other present-moment experiences without judging or reacting to them.”

I was a very energetic, confident, persuasive, and happy-go-lucky child, but if I got overstimulated, overtired, felt I wasn’t being listened to, or didn’t get my way, my periodic meltdowns were in stark contrast to my generally cheerful disposition. (This sentence still applies to my adult self!)

My kind, introverted, easygoing, but sometimes anxious and conflict-averse Mama found this to be understandably challenging and didn’t have the tools to cope. (She approved this sentence.) Fortunately, a minister at our church referred Mama to a therapist who helped her learn how to calm herself down so that she stopped yelling at me and then she could help my five-year old self calm down, so that I could eventually stop yelling at her. You can learn more about the other tools Mama learned from this therapist in her book, Turn Your Face: How to Be Heard and Get What you Want Most of the Time. Last month, she also wrote an especially useful blog post for us entitled, My Good Life Has Been Supported by Great Therapists.

Once I was older, I could go to our family therapist by myself and his support was grounded in helping me breathe, settle down, name my emotions, learn from them, and then maybe even reframe my big emotions, so that I could communicate with myself and others calmly. Whenever life gets more stressful than I can manage on my own, I’ve always been willing to go back to therapy to learn new ways to both cope and make peace with myself. One therapist in my early 30s suggested that I would be well-served to learn how to talk to my inner five-year old, which he warmly named “Little Allison.” When I’m not being mindful and can’t access my learned ways of being calm, he helped me to see that my reactions were very similar to the child my mother adored but struggled to parent. I’ll always be grateful to him for helping me learn how to parent myself as an adult.

Early in my career, I got certified in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) which gave me other ways to practice mindfulness, and I started using affirmations, the Instant Stress Reducing Maneuver, Morning Pages, gratitude, optimism, happiness, and other practices along the way. Recently, a longtime client who often shares wisdom with me, relayed an especially helpful quote from someone who was speaking at an open Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. An open meeting of A.A. is “a group meeting that any member of the community, alcoholic or nonalcoholic, may attend.” The speaker at this meeting said, “Feelings are not facts. Feelings are not fiction. Feelings are information but they are not instructions you have to act on.” I’ve added this to my treasure trove of affirmations to help me when I’m trying to find a balanced way to respond to my feelings.

All of these things help me to help myself and my clients on our professional and personal journeys, and I’m especially proud that I’m often able to help clients and friends find the right therapist when the underlying issues require support I’m not qualified to give.

While I aspire to mindfulness daily, life’s stressors and disappointments can sometimes make me feel like my tools are useless. Little Allison leaps up with cynicism, nastiness (mostly directed at Big Allison for not doing something to protect us or get us what we want.) She’ll roll her eyes and stomp away from the tools Big Allison knows work. When things get really bad, I communicate with myself and others in ways I regret and sometimes I have to apologize and to do work to repair the relationship.

Even writing about all of this can make me fall into the self-loathing shame cycle Brené Brown described in her 2012 TED Talk, Listening to Shame. Fortunately, Brown offers many ways to help me change my self-talk which can get ugly if I’m not careful. I watched her words of wisdom again today and slowly made my way back to some self-compassion.

When any of this spiraling happens and none of my reliable tools are working for me, I need quick and easy ways to pause, regroup, and if possible, smile. I always feel better faster if I can find a way to smile. Marvel Hulk Not Smash: Practice Mindfulness the Mighty Marvel Way is my new favorite quick fix because it offers 33 superb and easy practices based on the lessons from different superheroes in the Marvel Universe. 

Ant-Man can help you find a sense of scale when things feel out of control. Mantis can help you name the emotion you’re feeling so you can practice letting it go. Black Panther offers lessons in how to listen to others attentively as a way to help them stay calm. Thor offers a new twist on affirmations so that “you determine what makes you worthy.”

I don't think you have to be a Marvel fan to appreciate the short, easy-to-understand instructions on each page about how to practice the mindfulness lesson inspired by each Mighty Marvel character.

p.s. While preparing this blog post, I learned that Amy Ratcliffe also wrote Star Wars The Jedi Mind: Secrets from the Force for Balance and Peace. I’m a Star Wars fangirl too, and I dress up like Princess Leia every Halloween, so you know what I’ll be reading next!

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