What We're Reading Now

Pause Before You React

3 March 2026

Janie read Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People) by Amy Gallo and appreciated Gallo’s no-nonsense recommendations.

Tags: breathing, communication, conflict, empathy, janie read

We all know that relationships at work matter, but how often do we treat them like a skill to be learned instead of a nuisance to tolerate? In Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People), Amy Gallo offers practical suggestions for improving workplace dynamics, whether you’re dealing with passive aggression, office politics, or a different challenge.

One of Gallo’s key points seems obvious, but I think it’s very easy to forget. You can’t control how other people behave, but you can control how you respond. Focusing on my behavior instead of the other person helps me move from frustration and blame into finding a solution. Gallo offers many excellent suggestions for ways to do this. Here are just a few of my favorites.

• Stop trying to fix others and focus on yourself
  Instead of hoping a difficult coworker will change, focus on how you can show up differently. I’ve been amazed at what a difference taking a few minutes to breathe before tackling a difficult conversation can make.
• Remember your point of view isn’t the only one
  We all see things through our own lens. Trying to understand where the other person is coming from can help you find common ground.
• Reframe conflict as an opportunity
  Conflict on its own isn’t the enemy; poorly handled conflict is. When disagreements arise, try to think of them as data about unmet needs or misunderstandings. I’ve found when I make myself focus only on the facts and not how I might feel about a situation, it’s much easier to feel calm and have a productive conversation.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Many years ago, I had a colleague who appeared to always do everything at the last minute, including her arrival at the office. This used to drive me crazy. I started to think she just didn’t care, which made me resentful. After a few years working together, I learned she had a medical condition that caused her a lot of pain and made it very difficult for her to get out of bed, particularly in bad weather. Knowing this changed my thinking and helped me let go of my resentment. It also made me a better co-worker because instead of being annoyed, I focused on what I could do to ensure that even if she was running late, it wouldn’t cause any issues.  

Ironically, in the years since then, punctuality has become harder for me, and I’ve become much less annoyed by people that run late because I am one of them. Reading this book helped me see that when I had less of an issue being on time, I was annoyed by others that struggled with it. Now, my life is totally different than it was when I was in that role, and I am late more often than I am on time. I never mean to keep other people waiting, but regardless of my intentions, I still do it. It’s easy to excuse my own lateness and assume that whoever I kept waiting knows that something must have come up that made me late. But I wasn’t willing to do this for my colleague years ago because I was too focused on how I perceived the situation.

Reading this book reminded me how important it is to challenge my own perspective and to focus on what I can do. I’ve started pausing to ask myself, “What’s within my control here?” Asking myself this interrupts my instinct to judge and helps me shift my focus toward curiosity. It doesn’t always come naturally, but when I pause and ask this question, I’ve found that I listen better, I see nuances I would likely have missed, and finding common ground becomes possible instead of conflict seeming inevitable.

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